Starbuck’s Is A FAILURE!!! No More CD’s or Oversized iTunes Download Cards. No More Tall, Venti Whatever The Fuck…I Hope…
Whenever I go to Starbucks I REFUSE to order in their pretentious sizes. Fuck that. This is America. I order in 3 sizes, “Mini”, “Mid-Size” and “The Biggest One You Got Ho!!!!”.
But in all seriousness, I do often find myself having to specify that when I want a large soda at a movie theater, I mean “The gigantic sized one that’s only 50 cents more than the smaller one. NO I DON’T WANT A COMBO! I JUST WANT TO SEE MY MOVIE. SHUT UP. I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE REFILL!!!”
This article says that they (Starbucks) have finally decided to stop trying shovel their bullshit down my throat.
Quote: “In March, a scathing New York Times article reported that the chain was selling just two CDs per store per day.”
Think about that. Two CDs per store per day. Now I’m no mathematician or anything, but I’m gonna estimate that about 500 people go into each Starbucks (on average) every day (give or take). This estimate is based on nothing. But I’m just saying…
So if only 2 out of 500 people buy CD’s there per day, what does that tell us? Well, for one, maybe the PRICE POINTS WERE WAY TOO FUCKING HIGH!!! MORONS!
Really, you want me to spend $16.95 on the new KT Tunstall record? Does it have the “no no no no no no woo-hoo” song on it? NO!?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT WAS ON HER FIRST RECORD?!!?!? Well what songs would I know from this one? NONE OF THEM? I’LL POUR MY GRANDE MOCHA SKIM NO FAT ALL OVER YOUR FLIRTY ASS, BITCH!!!!
And so fourth…
Add in the fact that aside from the absurdly high prices these last 8 years might have been the WORST YEARS IN HISTORY TO VENTURE INTO SELLING MUSIC and the fact that Starbucks offers an EXTREMELY limited selection of CDs (OH! BUT I CAN GET THE NEW PAUL McCARTNEY ALBUM “MEMORY ALMOST FULL” FOR A MERE $17.95!! WHAT A DEAL…PS “Memory Almost Full” might be the worst title ever given to a record that wasn’t made by a 15 year old…and that photo of him? You just want to punch him in the face).
Turns out people DON’T go into Starbucks to shop. In spite of what I’ve been told byt he media over the last 5 years…
Also turns out the people HATE paying for music.
Strangely though, people still love to listen to music. Bizarre.
Because of how inexpensive CDs are to manufacture, they really shouldn’t cost more than $7 ever.
I realize there are obviously a lot of middlemen who need to get paid in order for the music to get from the band to the listener. Fine. Distribution costs money. Record labels need money. Record stores need money. Great.
I’m not suggesting that everyone lose their jobs. But I think it might be a good time to get out of distributing, selling and paying for bands to record music.
Just saying.
Starbucks is my girlfriend.
But I agree about starbucks selling music its lame. they also sell really bad board games.
Also, you’ve been tagged. But I notice I am not on your list of blogs. Lame.
I’ll add you. You’re on my blog roll on my blog that actually has readers. I promise.